Men aren’t silent we just aren’t listening closely enough.
I recently came across a study showing that 91% of middle-aged men who died by suicide had contact with a frontline service (like a GP, hospital, or social agency) before their death. Not all of them accessed mental-health care, but they did reach out in some way.
This challenges one of the biggest myths in mental health: “Men never ask for help.”
There is a common belief that men never ask for help, especially when they are struggling with mental health. However, new research shows something very different. A major study found that 91 percent of middle aged men who died by suicide had contact with at least one frontline service in the year before their death. Many had visited a family doctor, an emergency department, or a community agency. Some had even reached out more than once.
This means most men were not silent at all. They showed signs. They reached out. They tried.
The issue is not that men never seek help. The issue is that their distress often goes unnoticed or misunderstood. Men tend to communicate pain differently. They may present with physical complaints, irritability, withdrawal, or changes in behaviour that do not always get recognized as mental health concerns.
At PØLR, we advocate for mental health. Real strength is not pretending everything is fine. Real strength is facing what feels heavy and talking about it. The northern mindset is about resilience and honesty, not silence.
If we want to reduce suicide among men, we need more than awareness campaigns. We need early recognition of emotional pain. We need frontline workers trained to identify hidden signs of distress. We need communities where men feel understood and supported before they hit a crisis point.
The data is clear. Men are reaching out. What needs to change is how we respond when they do.
Men aren’t failing to seek help.
Our systems are failing to recognize their distress.